I finaly decided to write in this journal. First off I am now 20. As a child I've always had a fasination for diapers. I remember being 4 or so and at the babysitters where their were other toddles who couldn't talk yet and feeling their diaper and the diapers there. There was this one girl there named Bri and she was the grandson of the babysitter. Every now and then she would want to be put into diapers and she would get it. I remember being so jealous at her and wanting the same, and knowing that when she dind't want to wear diapers anymore was b/c she had used them and wanted out. Then i went to another babysitters a little ways away from that but only a few miles while my mom continued to work. I would to there in the summer from Mon-Fri in the day. It was me and a family my mom knew, who had a girl a year younger than me or older I can't forget and a boy 2 years younger than me? I forget. I haven't talked to them in a while now. Anyways I remember one time asking him if he liked diapers and he did also. He would say he had a dream about wetting on and messing on and wearing it around. We tried to find diapers and would wear baby doll ones under our underwear. I dunno if he still likes them or not now. For years I dind't wear any and when I got the internet I found out a lot of other people liked the same things and that it was a common fetish on a list of fetishes. During my middle school years, the last few I would attempt to make homemade diapers. My parents both went to work all day and I would be home a lone after school for a while and all summer. It wasn;t until last summer, going into being a sophmore in college that I acutally had enough nerve to buy diapers and be able to hide them in my house. My mom is very nosey and looks through stuff, but I really don't care what people think about me at all. The only thing is, I had a job at a camp and it was only suppost to be for 2 weeks but ended up being for 5 or so. Also my dad retired after 2 weeks of doing it. So I had all these thick overnight diapers and now someone was alsmot always home. I got to wear maybe 8 times and not for long each time. Only a few times most of the day. It sucked so much. The diapers were so thick and I liked having 3-4 on at once to make it thicker, but there was no way I could wet that much in a time period. Then I went back to school and dind't have much of an interest in it for a while. Before I left I got rid of my baby stuff. Then towards the end of the 1st sem I had a strong urge and wanted to get some Attends b/c they were more babyish. I ordered some off ebay and thoguht I was getting 1 bag, but got 1. Thats 48 diapers. The only thing is these attends are the blue kind and are small. I got small b/c the med depends were huge. These ones have no waist band, its ok but they are really really snug. the tapes barely hit and they only come up short of my belly button. Thats ok for a girl, but guys have penis's so its a problem. If its not positioned down and I pee its going up my shirt. I can hook 2 together and it would be fine, but I haven't even gotten to wear any at school b/c of my roomate who is always there/ I am gonna wear them under my clothing around at school b/c they are so small. I am changing rooms and may have a single for a while. So I would love to wear, but I want to get a dif kind of attends. I have a g/f, have had for about 4 mounths now and I know she would be ok of it. Shes always talking about poop and defeciating for jokes. Like what would you do if you woke up and izumi was in the corner defecating in a cup, or she will be like poop in a cup! out of no where. She has even talked about diapers. Asking me if I would put one on go into my neighbors room lay down on the bed, (I would be wearing a big shirt to cover the diapers), then spread my legs and be like man I really have to pee, then stand up and pretend to pee. She wants me to do this as a joke to people, and is like I can get you diapers too, my grandmother has them. She also said shes into some wierd stuff but hasn't told me what yet, nor does she know about this.